As the borough returns to normality after the horror of the terrorist attacks on London, one Enfield woman is coming to terms with the loss of her "soulmate".

Thirty-year-old Yvonne Nash desperately searched for her fianc Jamie Gordon for five days after the attacks, until he was confirmed as one of the victims of the suicide bombing on the number 30 bus in Tavistock Square.

This week, she opened her heart and talked about the man she described as her best friend and soulmate.

The couple lived life to the full, after meeting in a rock club seven years ago.

Miss Nash said: "He was my ideal man. There was so much about Jamie that I really admired.

"I was very much in love with him but I also really respected him and liked him as a person."

They decided to marry in January this year. Miss Nash recalled: "We had not made it official because we had not got a ring, but we had started to find out about diamonds and the weekend before the bomb we talked about wedding dates. We were both sure.

"I had him for seven years. He promised me it would be a lot longer, but it just wasn't in his control."

Thinking back to the fateful morning of July 7, Miss Nash remembers trying to call Jamie's mobile phone but getting no reply.

She works for mobile phone company Orange, which was able to trace his phone to an area of four streets one of which was Tavistock Square.

She then started her desperate search for information on his whereabouts. She said: "I convinced myself he would be okay, that people caught in a bomb blast are disorientated.

"He always used to say to me I am as strong as an ox'. He was never ill. I was sure he was fine and I just needed to find him. He was a real gentleman, the type of guy who would open doors or give up his seat so I was convinced he would have been standing downstairs on the bus. He would not have been pushing to get on."

The final realisation came when she learned there were no more unidentified victims recovering in hospital. Recalling the moment, she said: "I knew then that Jamie was dead. I could not breathe I did not really want to breathe. I did not care. I just wanted to scream."